I started loosing my patience and snapping over minuscule things like forgetting to take off muddy shoes in the house or spilling their lunch on the floor. I was on edge and impatient often more times than not. It was a miracle my husband even wanted to crawl into bed next to me every night. While there may not be an official description of it in the dictionary, let me tell you what it should say. Selfishly takes care of everyone around her, but herself.
They operate on all cylinders hours a day and are constantly needed as Mom, driver, meal maker, doctor, playmate, sleeping buddy and safety net. Enduring whining, screaming and tantrums frequently during a day is likely to drive any parent batty, but it also adds to the stress and overwhelm of parents. The good news? This is because children thrive when they have a daily schedule that works and keeps sleep and eating times consistent from day to day.
Juggling many responsibilities as a busy Mom becomes overwhelming and contributes to Mom Burnout over time. I know how it feels to physically feel beat down by 5pm and without energy to make it to bedtime after a long day with my kids. It felt like the hamster wheel was getting the best of me, and it was. If you need helping figuring out how to get all. If you are always entertaining your kids, how will they ever learn to entertain and play by themselves?
In fact, this should be encouraged and is shown to help with their increased independence and interest in learning. Check yours out to see what memberships in your area may get the most bang for your buck — these are great as birthday or Christmas gifts from relatives too. No, unfortunately, this does not mean yoga pants or workout clothes or anything that involves spandex and stretchy fabrics.
Teach them that no matter how tough or unjust their circumstances, they can always take positive action.
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Giving in to guilty feelings teaches your child that guilt is intolerable. Kids who learn this won't be able to say no to someone who says, "be a friend and let me copy your paper," or, "if you loved me, you'd do this for me. Show your kids that even though you feel guilty sometimes—and all good parents do—you're not going to allow your uncomfortable emotions get in the way of making wise decisions.
If you make your entire life revolve around your kids, they'll grow up thinking everyone should cater to them. And self-absorbed, entitled adults aren't likely to get very far in life. Teach your kids to focus on what they have to offer the world, rather than what they can gain from it. Although keeping your kids inside a protective bubble will spare you a lot of anxiety, playing it too safe teaches your child that fear must be avoided at all times.
Show your kids that the best way to conquer fear is to face it head-on, and you'll raise courageous people who are willing to step outside their comfort zones. Letting kids dictate what the family will eat for dinner or where the family goes on vacation gives kids more power than they are developmentally ready to handle. Treating kids like an equal, or the boss, actually robs them of mental strength.
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Give your kids an opportunity to practice taking orders, listening to things they don't want to hear, and doing things they don't want to do. Let your kids make simple choices while maintaining a clear family hierarchy. Expecting your kids to perform well is healthy, but expecting them to be perfect will backfire. Teach your kids that it's okay to fail. It's fine, and normal, not to be great at everything they do. Kids who strive to become the best version of themselves , rather than the best at everything, won't make their self-worth dependent upon how they measure up to others.
Letting kids skip out on chores or avoid getting an after-school job can be tempting. Afer all, you likely want your kids to have a carefree childhood. But children who perform age-appropriate duties aren't overburdened.
Instead, they're gaining the mental strength they need to become responsible citizens. Hurt feelings, sadness and anxiety are part of life. Letting kids experience those painful feelings gives them opportunities to practice tolerating discomfort. Provide your kids with the guidance and support they need to deal with pain so they can gain confidence in their ability to handle life's inevitable hardships. Cheering your kids up when they're sad and calming them down when they're upset means you take responsibility for regulating their emotions.
Kids need to gain emotional competence so they can learn to manage their own feelings.
Proactively teach your child healthy ways to cope with their emotions so they don't depend on others to do it for them. Correcting your kids' math homework, double checking to make sure they've packed their lunch, and constantly reminding them to do their chores won't do them any favors. Natural consequences can be some of life's greatest teachers. Let your kids mess up sometimes and show them how to learn from their mistakes so they can grow wiser and become stronger. Punishment involves making kids suffer for their wrongdoing. Discipline, however, is about teaching them how to do better in the future.
Raising a child who fears "getting in trouble" isn't the same as raising a child who wants to make good choices. Use consequences that help your kids develop the self-discipline they need to make better choices.
Although giving in to a whining child or doing your kids' chores for them will make your life a little easier right now, those shortcuts instill unhealthy habits in your kids for the long term. Role model delayed gratification and show your kids that you can resist tempting shortcuts. You'll teach them they're strong enough to persevere even when they want to give up. Many parents aren't instilling the values they hold dear in their children. Instead, they're so wrapped up in the day-to-day chaos of life that they forget to look at the bigger picture.
Make sure your priorities accurately reflect the things you value most in life, and you'll give your children the strength to live a meaningful life. Originally posted on Inc. Amy Morin is a psychotherapist and a lecturer at Northeastern University. She's also an international bestselling author and a therapeutic foster parent.
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Her latest book, 13 Things Mentally Strong Parents Don't Do, teaches parents how to become mental strength coaches so they can raise self-assured children who will grow to become responsible adults. Follow her on Facebook. The holidays are quickly on their way, and while there are tons of ways to celebrate, you should feel free to get a little creative with it and make your own traditions there's no law requiring you to dress everyone in matching red velvet jumpers to sit on Santa's lap.
So instead of battling between getting the perfect picture and your baby's natural urge to wiggle, harness the power of those inevitable Hallmark moments—the first giggle, the budding personality, the two-toothed grin—to make your December super special. Decorating the tree is a beloved tradition, and having a little one is all the more reason to get into the spirit of it. Get the baby—and the rest of the family—involved in the fun by letting everyone color or paint on an unbreakable, homemade ornament and hang them towards the bottom of the tree.
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And sure, your infant may not create any masterpieces at this age, but not only will the precious family heirlooms stay higher up read: away from tiny hands , you'll also be creating keepsakes to build on for years to come. Connecting your children to the spirit of the season is an important part of teaching them what it's all about, but it's not always so easy to do through books and stories alone. Instead, offer them the chance to live it out!
Whether you celebrate Hanukkah, Christmas or another significant holiday, playing pretend is the ideal way to teach and have fun along the way for everyone in the family.
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Use a kid-friendly nativity book as a guide or make your own menorah as you explore the story of the oil that burned for 8 nights—whatever your religion, there's an important tale to tell. There is joy in receiving physical mail and holiday cards are a wonderful way to make your loved ones feel special. But don't stop there! Record a video greeting to send to your nearest and dearest to keep even the most far-away relatives feel like they're right there with you.
Everyone will love seeing the baby's latest milestones in live-action, and it's a great way to spread the season's warmest greetings. Making and maintaining a baby book is a fabulous idea, but sometimes keeping it up-to-date gets lost in the shuffle of parenthood. Use the holiday season as a time to reconnect with all those beloved memories for your kiddo by starting an annual time capsule box: Each year, have all members of the family add one item of their choosing or your choosing, depending on age to the box and label it with a little note.
Things can range from a favorite holiday-themed blanket or toy to something they no longer need but aren't ready to throw away. Nothing says "cozy" like a yummy-smelling kitchen filled with laughter. While your tot may still be too small to really help in the kitchen, it's never too early to kickstart their love of cooking. Pick a recipe you'll make every year and get them "involved" with a spoon and an empty mixing bowl.
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You'll get to enjoy the fruits of your labor together and it'll help encourage them to cook with you more year-round, too.